Sunday, August 4, 2019

At first I thought...

Is this part of the show?

“At first we thought it was part of the show... People were flying 30 feet into the air like rag dolls.”

"I knew there was an issue -- well it started, there were explosions behind, but I thought it was just a normal practical joke, fireworks or something, but then I see people starting to leave the theater, smoke behind me."

"At first, I didn't think it was anything serious, I thought it was a joke or part of the show..."

“I thought it was just like loud boxes being dropped or something, until they got closer and closer,” she said. “That’s when I looked at my co-worker, and we looked at each other like shocked and scared.” 

Tom Cassidy, 60, of Calabasas saw somebody step on something, maybe a plastic bottle, and thought: Wow, that thing is loud. Others guessed it was fireworks, but there no fireworks were to be seen.

Then Cassidy saw a woman next to him. She had a hole in her face.

My thoughts today are on the "at first I thought..." phenomenon. Dr. Ivan Pupulidy describes that when people encounter something dumb, dangerous, or different, our reaction is to make sense of it. 

We base our evaluation of new experiences on past experiences. I have never stood in a super Wal-Mart while an incel lunatic began wasting human beings with a rifle. I have been surprised by boxes and other objects accidentally dropped within the same venue. Boxes are a more comfortable conclusion to arrive at than bullets, despite cardboard boxes sounding exactly nothing like supersonic indoor rifle fire. 

But there is no such thing as a spontaneous halftime show wherein actors hurl fire crackers into the audience and blow people's heads off. Never ever have any of us seen a flash mob street performance involving a truck plowing through a crowd and hurling dead bodies into the sky. It's just not a thing. Is it really reasonable for this to be the initial conclusion we reach in these situations?

This has to be another unfortunate example of our superior human intelligence making us too smart to live. Animals don't have this problem: you may simply want to pet that cute baby deer, but it's not sticking around to verify your pure intentions and neither is its mama. You are presumed a threat, and they respond accordingly. 

Similarly, we can improve our chances for survival by dispensing with the delusional bullshit. I give myself permission today to see what presents in front of me. I pledge to assume the worst and respond as such until proven otherwise. 

Saturday, August 3, 2019


This piece of human shit walked into a Texas Wal-Mart today and murdered  around 19 people, wounding twice as many more. 

The murderer walked into a Wal-Mart looking like this, and no one chose to shoot him.

"Officials said more than 1,000 shoppers were in the Walmart, as well 100 workers."

Out of 1100 people in the store, apparently zero had the opportunity, equipment, or will to fight back. I encourage everyone reading this to make the choice to equip and prepare themselves to fight this evil.

Friday, July 12, 2019


Google has a $800 billion market cap but can't afford to hire me for free to look at their stupid heart rhythm graphics. 7.12.19

Don't be like Google. Email your EKG graphics to before publishing to have them reviewed for free by someone who can read books.

And use DuckDuckGo.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Check Yourself After Wisconsin LODD

Last month Appleton, Wisconsin Firefighter Mitch Lundgaard - father of three young children - was murdered by the patient he had helped save from a narcotics overdose moments prior. The assailant wounded a police officer, then grabbed a random woman to use as a human shield before LEOs righteously turned him into worm food.

We owe it to our fallen brother to learn everything we can from this well documented incident, to take stock of our current bad habits, and enact meaningful behavioral change to prevent this from ever happening again. The following is an excerpt from an email I sent to my crew following the release of the above body cam footage:

Please study this video, especially the portion showing the patient care leading up to the attack (shooting starts around minute 26). Some things I took away from this were:

 - No one searched the patient, despite their apparent working diagnosis of a narcotics OD. Please consider this email a written directive to search your unresponsive patients. Removal of the weapon while the patient was unresponsive (and thus incompetent to ensure its safe handling and storage) could have saved the fire fighter's life, and prevented the injury of the other victims. An implied consent search of the unresponsive patient is part of your physical assessment and can reveal clues about what lead up to their condition (e.g. pill bottle, heroin kit, medical alert jewelry, insulin pump, suicide note, hidden injuries).

 - The patient was given enough narcan to fully return him to consciousness, thus giving him the opportunity to refuse transport, attack responders, and flee. While I used enjoy the thrill of pushing enough narcan to wake somebody up, I now consider this to be bad medicine. The side effects of narcan include flash pulmonary edema, ventricular fibrillation, and sudden death. It makes people vomit. Some people who overdose on opioids are unstable and violent. The safest option for you and the patient is to guide interventions by capnography. Place these patients into the recovery position if appropriate, apply an appropriate amount of oxygen with the proper device, and administer small doses of narcan PRN or not at all to maintain normal SpO2 and ETCO2 while transporting to the hospital.

- This patient was acting squirrelly as hell. The responders failed to pick up on this and were way too relaxed around him. I noticed one even had his back to the patient for a long time. Please be attentive to this type of patient. If not for your safety, then at least for their safety to help ensure they don't trip and fall, and to immediately respond to any worsening in their condition. Please do not ignore your limbic brain when it picks up on something suspicious, even if you can't immediately articulate why you feel that way.

- The attack went down fast. A gun in your bag on the truck, and a ballistic vest stuffed behind a seat somewhere are too far away to save you.
I personally have fallen into the bad habit recently of only wearing my vest when I go to calls that sound shitty. This is a stupid behavior, and delegates too much of my personal responsibility for my safety to a dispatcher somewhere who doesn't give a damn whether I live or die, or how my wife will pay the bills after I'm killed. Considering that Lundgaard was shot in the back, a vest may possibly have saved him.

Visit for affordable soft armor. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Ur dumb

Don't just tell all your co-workers how dumb you are. Show them, with this tattoo. 

This is a dumb tattoo

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Self Serve Gas

Spotted in Wallowa, Oregon

Goebels Self Serve Gas

Possibly the worst name for a gas station in the history of gas stations since 1941.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Ariana Grande ❤ BBQ

Ariana Grande Mocked for Misspelled Japanese Tattoo that Translates to ‘Charcoal Grill’

I honestly don't even know who this person is. I hopped off the pop culture train about 10 years ago. However, she did something pretty stupid which will last until the day she dies and then for some time thereafter. 

Don't be like Ariana Grande. Don't get a Kanji tattoo before consulting with a Japanese person. Similarly, don't get an EKG tattoo before consulting a paramedic. Write to me for free advice at 

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