Sunday, June 17, 2018

Mockable Code Blue

Mock the code blue?

Don't mind if I do!!!!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Are Gun Owners Compensating for Something?

In a culture where "fat shaming", "thin shaming", "slut shaming", "pretty shaming", and "gender shaming" are near mortal sins, it is a fascinating evolution in the tactics of the rabid, anti-gun left that penis size shaming has become a staple weapon in their war against Liberty. 

As if Constitutionally protected rights are meted out in proportion to erection length, these arguments attempt to link the size of one's member to a desire to be armed with effective self defense weaponry. Presumably - according to this hypothesis of the liberal, authoritarian left - a man with a very small penis would feel a strong, biological urge to be adequately armed in the defense of himself and his family; and a man with a huge penis would just beat an attacker to death with his swinging cod. 

What's not clear to me is how this hypothesis applies to women, as it has literally been suggested that women who possess this desire to be trained and armed for their own defense need to "get over" their little penises. Could we then extrapolate that a woman in favor of firearms prohibition has a gigantic wiener knocking against her knee caps? Shouldn't men who have become trans women have the strongest interest in self defense weaponry as a corollary of their desire to no longer possess the natural accoutrements of biological males? 

Of course there is no sense to the gun rights-rooster size argument (making it a strange manifestation of the side of the debate that claims to have "common sense" in its camp), which is why I now propose an alternative hypothesis with an equal length & girth of scientific evidence for its support: 

1) Gun prohibitionists are compensating for having tiny little penises by advocating for governmental control over armed people, so that the poorly endowed prohibitionists can finally feel like big strong men by comparison. 

2) Gun prohibitionists - as a side effect of their sad, inadequate genitalia - are afraid of strong women like Dana Loesch and Ann Coulter, and so the prohibitionists feel a reaction formation compulsion caused by their own wee little wee-wee's to dominate these women by attacking them for their conservative values. 

Saturday, June 9, 2018


My electric company sends me this unhelpful fucking magazine full of garbage every month instead of focusing on ways to make my power bill more affordable. 

I guess that explains all the 60-cycle.

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Fire-Rescue Med 2018.

Oh, what a surprise. The fire-based EMS geniuses at the IAFC don't know what a real fucking EKG looks like.

Don't go to Fire-Rescue Med 2018.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Turning impossible into "I'm possible" without vomiting too much

This is Sara Backhaus, an ER nurse at a Florida Krankenhaus, who was featured in Laerdal's "Celebrating all who say 'I'm Possible'" advertising campaign to promote their simulation training products. I'm not going to pick on Sara too much because I personally would be mortified if Laerdal had done this to me, but I would be negligent in my duty to the public if I did not comment on the ridiculous claims of this ad campaign.

Click here to read her story, as told by Laerdal. In short, Sara was working in the ER at her hospital when someone came in looking like garbage and having chest pain. She followed standing orders in calling for a 12-lead EKG. A paramedic applied the 12-lead EKG. The nursing team started an IV and obtained vital signs. Laerdal then somehow caught wind of this incredibly ordinary event and felt that it was worthy of heroic praise.

Here's my problem with this situation: Sara's apparent actions were the standard of care. Nothing more, and nothing less. Anything less should have been dealt with through the quality management system or the disciplinary ladder. Sara performed to the expected standard of an emergency services provider. The appropriate reward for meeting the standard of care is a paycheck, and continued employment. Ordering a 12-lead and then working with a team of providers in an environment completely absent of hostilities is not an heroic or extraordinary feat.

It was also noted that Sara didn't even apply the 12 lead herself - she had a paramedic do that for her. Obtaining a 12-lead EKG when necessary is also the expected standard of care for a paramedic, yet the paramedic's name was not even mentioned as Laerdal paeaned Sara for her mundane yet somehow superhuman feat. I have a problem with this because, in general, RNs earn twice the wage of paramedics, who have equivalent education, and who are expected to work under inhospitable conditions without a team of RNs, CNAs, scribes, and other various techs to assist them. Laerdal's lack of acknowledgement of this while lavishing extravagant praise upon a nurse for asking an equally qualified paramedic to run a 12-lead is unequivocal bullshit.

If this is the best Laerdal can do to promote their simulation training products, I suggest emergency medical services agencies and facilities save their money. 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

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