Friday, March 3, 2017

The Lift Assist

This is part III of a series on mixed drinks for off-duty EMS providers. For parts I and II click on the following links:


I can't say enough (more for my liability and less out of actually caring about what happens to any of you people) that these drinks are for when you are OFF DUTY. I am not telling you to drink on or before duty. But when you are off duty, go crazy. 

This is the lift assist. Just like real lift assists, they are mostly for at night and involve having to go pee. They are revenue negative, require almost no paperwork or charting, and the brown foamy head should remind you of a similar substance frequently encountered while lifting old and fat people out from the space between the toilet and the bathtub.  

I happened upon this mixed drink while attempting to make that cheap idaho rum in the above picture palatable for human consumption. It is so bad. So I threw a splash of vanilla extract and a shot of whipping cream into my rum and coke (also known as "The Ted"), and the end result was great. 

After a couple of these you'll be saying "more lift assists, please!"

  • 1 jigger of rum
  • 1/2 jigger of whipping cream
  • a splash of vanilla extract
  • Coca Cola or Diet Coke. 

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