Sunday, April 22, 2018

Movie Drinking Games II

We like movie drinking games. The rules are you fill shot glasses with beer and drink a shot whenever some condition in a movie is met. There are lots of movie drinking games already available online. Unfortunately, as I have previously noted, the very best movies don't have drinking games already made for them, and so I have to create my own.

Bee Sting 2: Bear Sting

Bee Sting 2: Bear Sting

"Campy homage to 80's slasher flicks, Bee Sting 2: Bear Sting is the sequel to the hit horror-comedy based on the Graphic Novel by Matthew D. Smith and Jeremy Massie. Heralded as "The Empire Strikes Back of Bee Sting Movies." Aaron [Keegan Shropsire] and Ashley [Emily Shepard] escaped the terror of the blood thirsty Redneck Cannibals. How will they cope with the loss of their friends and family?" 

  1.  Take 1 shot for each stabbing, slashing, chopping, or biting injury
  2. 1 shot for each time the news anchor is a bitch to her camera man
  3. Take 2 shots when the hillbilly cuts someone's throat with the unsharpened side of his knife
  4. Turn on subtitles and chug your beer to get through the really awkward training song
  5. 2 shots if somebody's genitals just so happen to get bitten off
  6. Chug your beer when THE BEAR STING SAVES THE DAY!
The Night of the Wererooster

The Night of the Wererooster
"When family members of missing persons are called to the remote shores of a lake by the mysterious Charlotte Reeves, they find more than they bargain for. Something is waiting for them. Something murderous and covered in feathers. Now, they are on the run in this tongue-in-beak homage to creature features from years gone by. This is no day at the beach. This is the Night of the Wererooster!"

  1. Take 1 shot per scream
  2. 1 shot every time someone says "there aren't any bears in these woods"
  3. 1 shot per rooster crow
  4. 1 shot per close-up shot of Lou's boobs
  5. 1 shot every time Colonel Sanders sucks on an unlit cigar
  6. Take 2 shots during every flashback sequence 

Swarm of the Snakehead
"Before Sharknado, there was Swarm Of The Snakehead. Part Fish... Part Snake.... Pure Evil.. Starring the late, great, Gunnar Hansen."

  1. Take 1 shot for every shot of a cheap shit plastic snake fish
  2. 1 shot for ethnic drum music
  3. 1 shot when a fishing rod is described in phallic terms
  4. 1 shot per severed limb
  5. Take 2 shots during every flashback sequence 
  6. Chug your beer when Petey saves the children!
First Man on Mars
First Man on Mars
"The countdown to terror has begun. Astronaut Eli Cologne became the first man on Mars, but something went horribly wrong. Infected by an alien organism, he returned to Earth a savage monster with an unquenchable thirst for human flesh." 
  1.  Take 1 shot each time the scientist says "keep watching the stars"
  2. 1 shot for each reference to an anal probe
  3. 1 shot every time someone says "Black Bayou"
  4. 1 shot every time someone says "egghead"
  5. Take 2 shots for a rocket launch
  6. 2 shots for a hyperbolic death
  7. Chug your beer at the end of this movie to make up for how disappointing it was. 
 Bad Taste

"The population of a small town disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast food chain." 
  1. Take 1 shot for cheezy blood spray or splatter
  2. 1 shot for a slugbug
  3. Take 3 shots if someone drinks puke
  4. Take 2 shots per machete or chainsaw kill
  5. Chug your beer when Derek chainsaws Lord Crumb a new asshole!

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