Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Are Gun Owners Compensating for Something?

In a culture where "fat shaming", "thin shaming", "slut shaming", "pretty shaming", and "gender shaming" are near mortal sins, it is a fascinating evolution in the tactics of the rabid, anti-gun left that penis size shaming has become a staple weapon in their war against Liberty. 

As if Constitutionally protected rights are meted out in proportion to erection length, these arguments attempt to link the size of one's member to a desire to be armed with effective self defense weaponry. Presumably - according to this hypothesis of liberal authoritarians - a man with a very small penis would feel a strong, biological urge to be adequately armed in the defense of himself and his family; and a man with a huge penis would just beat an attacker to death with his swinging cod. 

What's not clear to me is how this hypothesis applies to women, as it has literally been suggested that women who possess this desire to be trained and armed for their own defense need to "get over" their little penises. Could we then extrapolate that a woman in favor of firearms prohibition has a gigantic wiener knocking against her knee caps? Shouldn't men who have become trans women have the strongest interest in self defense weaponry as a corollary of their desire to no longer possess the natural accoutrements of biological males? 

Of course there is no sense to the gun rights-rooster size argument (making it a strange manifestation of the side of the debate that claims to have "common sense" in its camp), which is why I now propose an alternative hypothesis with an equal length & girth of scientific evidence for its support: 

1) Gun prohibitionists are compensating for having tiny little penises by advocating for governmental control over armed people, so that the poorly endowed prohibitionists can finally feel like big strong men by comparison. 

2) Gun prohibitionists - as a side effect of their sad, inadequate genitalia - are afraid of their attraction to strong women like Dana Loesch and Ann Coulter, and so the prohibitionists feel a reaction formation compulsion caused by their own wee little wee-wee's to dominate these women by attacking them for their conservative values. 

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